I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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