I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
