i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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