i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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