Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
