Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
