There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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