It's like God shit irony all over that family
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
