I will die if light touches me.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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