There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Can I color on your dick again?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
