batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
cat food counts as protein by the way
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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