I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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