I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
3pm strippers are depressing
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
