Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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