She's JV to your varsity
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
