i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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