It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
