Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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