week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
