i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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