I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
