Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
