what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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