I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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