I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
