3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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