Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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