so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
