So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
