There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
