I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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