I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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