U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Drunk is not a location!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
