I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
