Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How's work?
Spinning.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
