So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
