Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
