Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
