it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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