Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
