giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
