I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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