That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
