she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
