Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
