I can tuck mytits in my pants
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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