So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
