Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
