I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
