I'm jealous of your bromance
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
